I Love You...

Three simple words.

The most powerful phrase.

I found something today at our book fair. I was walking around looking for something to get Spenser. I had picked out a book for Alex, one for Kyle, and was wavering for between a couple of different things for Spenser. There was nothing there jumping out at me "Oh, that's for Spenser!". Not like for Alex and Kyle.

Then I saw a very cool collection of fantasy cards. Now those that know me very well, know my love of all things unicorn. The cards in this collections were all fairies and unicorns. Two of my most favorite things in the fantasy world. I picked up the box and carried it around with me, thinking this is going to be my treat. Then I found something better for Kyle. Then I walked back to where the fantasy card collection was, still looking for something for Spenser. It was then that I saw it.

This little book - live like you were dying - yes it is by the guys who wrote the song Tim McGraw sings.

Powerful for something so small. My Dad is dying. I am not sure if I can forgive him. I read the words in this little book and it hit home. My Dad is dying. I need to forgive him, so I can move on. SHE holds power over me as long as I hold the pain inside, and my Dad was in an indirect way responsible. It is complicated. How do I forgive her- someone so evil?.

Just let it go? I read this page of the book several times as I listened over and over to Tim's song. I may not be ready to forgive her and because of that my Dad may never see me again. Can I do that? Can I let him go? He is my dad after all. Not that right now it matters, he is in a coma, the doctor's say he is gone already. I just don't know what to do. IF the situation was reversed and Kyle was in a coma, I would want all my family around me to support me, to be there for me. BUT I no longer consider her my family. In that sense I have let it go.

Whoever reads this, I am sorry to make you cry. I love you. The book is right. It's as pure and simple as that.

I can love deeper and speak sweeter. I may even someday give the forgiveness I have been denying.

Live like you were dying. I have been thinking like that lately. Crazy I know. Live like you were dying-Go Skydiving. It is the motto everyone should live by.

I finally made my purchases (yes even something for Spenser) and I say it was the best $50 I ever spent.


Thank you. I am who I am because of my friends. And good or bad, because of my family.

And God Bless...or whatever deity you follow Bless.